Experiencing both joy and pain

Two days after Bob wrote the previous update, our doctor arranged to have him admitted to the hospital for three days to deal with his pain issues more effectively. During that time his pain was assessed and a proper dosage of medication was prescribed to keep him almost pain-free, however it makes him quite sleepy! While there, he had a CT scan revealing some advancement of disease on his bladder wall which has become thickened and irregular. This likely accounts for the increased pain.

The original mass has gotten slightly larger and he has a few enlarged nodes in his peritoneal cavity, however no other organs like liver, pancreas, or spleen have been affected. His full body bone scan was also clear of cancer. We found these results to be much more encouraging than they could have been.

Bob will see his oncologist the day before Christmas, and we're hoping she will bring a little more clarity to these findings and also suggest either chemo or radiation to take place early in the new year.

We still plan to fly to Regina on Christmas night for five days to be with our children and grandchildren. We're thankful for the pain medication that should keep him comfortable, and he'll receive two dialysis treatments while we're there.

Bob spent three days on the Palliative Care Ward at Surrey Memorial Hospital. It’s a small quiet ward and the care and atmosphere is so loving and homey. They even had a piano in the small lounge by the nurses’ station which I encouraged Bob to play for the enjoyment of the staff and patients. He was quite reticent to do that, but one of the nurses overheard our conversation and added her weight to the request. She even threatened to not discharge him until he played the piano . . . so that motivation seemed effective!! Here he is playing “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” and “Silent Night” just before being discharged—to everyone’s delight!!

And the “dream” of a white Christmas became a beautiful reality the night Bob came home from the hospital!!

Again, thank you SO much for your love and prayers. Just yesterday morning we were reading II Corinthians chapter one where Paul talks about his suffering and says in verses 10 and 11: " . . . On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers." You have helped us so much by your prayers.

May your Christmas be blessed with much joy and the wonderful awareness of the presence of Jesus, especially when pain is also a part of your life.

Pain--the Gift Nobody Wants

In his book, Pain: the Gift Nobody Wants, Dr. Paul Brand (coauthored with Phillip Yancey), who has spent his life working with people with leprosy, contrasts East and West. In the West we spend billions of dollars a year on avoiding pain, whereas in the East, people develop a worldview that includes pain: pain and joy go together, you can't have one without the other. Pain is a gift in that it alerts us to issues that need to be dealt with.

As my pain has re-emerged this past month, getting stronger each week, it has helped me to take a longer-range view of my day-to-day experiences. As I place it in the perspective of God's long-term involvement in my life, and I realize that once death comes in this life, I have eternal life without pain, I recenter my thoughts on how God views the pain that I--and many others--experience. In it all he claims to be working everything together for my good, he calls these times of trouble momentary in comparison to the life ahead, he says he will never leave me and that nothing can separate me from his love. So many foundational thoughts that all Christians know about, but provide confident hope and faith through trials. He even goes so far as to say, "count it all joy when you encounter various trials," and that is what Carol and I have been discussing the past few days. How does this work for our good when pain is our experience.

On the good-news front, a full body scan showed no progression of the cancer to the bones. Next week I will have a CT Scan to see what might be happening in the soft tissue in my abdomen. The pain means something, but what? So we're really dealing with hypotheses at this point, and treatment options are educated guesses as to what will be best. My bone marrow cannot handle much more chemotherapy, so we'll see what God and the medical community have up their sleeves.

As you see us enjoying the Christmas banquet at our church, we remember that the Christmas story is not exempt from pain either. The pain of childbirth. The pain of Jesus and his parents being refugees. The pain of countless families as baby boys are slaughtered in King Herod's frantic effort to remove a potential rival. Yet Jesus entered our fallen world to deal with the pains we experience: he chose pain as a way of life to bring healing to ours. We're so blessed.

We're hoping to be in Regina with our entire family for the week following Christmas. Being in the presence of those we love is always a gift. May God give you the same peace and joy that has been ours over this journey with Him through cancer.

With love,
Bob (for Carol too)

Mom and Dad in their new home

October was a very busy month as Mom and Dad Dodds made the huge move from Palm Springs, CA to the Oklahoma City area. All three of us kids did all we could to help facilitate this move and they are now nicely settled into a lovely Christian Retirement Community called Tealridge. Here they are in the lobby of the facility, each with their matching walkers!!

They have a very nice one bedroom apartment overlooking a parklike setting. Their family room furniture fit perfectly into the small living room and they're really quite comfortable.

All three meals each day are served in a lovely dining room, however if they prefer to eat alone in their apt every so often, they can go down and bring their meal back and eat at their own little table surrounded by pictures of all the family!!

My sister Barb's two sons and their families live very close by and frequently come by to visit. Here are most of us enjoying a fabulous Sunday brunch in the Tealridge dining room. Barb and her husband Buddy are having a home built nearby as well and although they won't be living there permanently until they retire in a couple of years, they do plan to spend one week out of every month in OK, which is four hours east of Perryton, TX where they've lived for many years.

Barb and I stayed in the area for about a week after Mom and Dad arrived and then I flew to Palm Springs to see that everything was cleared out of their home. We're hoping and praying that it will sell soon.

Jim has already visited Mom and Dad in OK and plans another visit in late December. All of us are quite impressed with Tealridge and look forward to many trips in the near future.

From Palm Springs, I flew to Calgary to join Bob at Ambrose University College (formerly CBC/CTS of Regina, where we served for so many years). We were there for the installation of their new president and our good friend Gordon Smith. It was a wonderful few days of reconnecting with so many former colleagues and friends and we were so encouraged to see the growth and expansion of that campus and its vision for the future.

I thought that by the time I got home I would have missed the fall colours, but the trees in our courtyard were still ablaze with deep reds and oranges.

Immediately upon our arrival home in early November, Vi and Bart visited us from Edmonton. Here we are celebrating Bart's October birthday a little bit late.

Bob has also had two trips in the past couple of weeks to conduct board workshops--in both Toronto and this very weekend he's in Quesnel, BC. These are very short trips due to his need for dialysis, but we're SO grateful to God that he's been feeling well enough to be involved in this way.

He completed his second full round of chemo at the end of October and will have a rest from treatment until there are indications that the cancer is advancing. Increased pain and also a rise in the "tumour markers" in his blood would trigger concern. But for now we are full of thanks to the Lord. His doctors are very happy that he's doing so well, and somewhat confounded by it, but we know that with God, all things are possible!!

Our daughter-in-law Kim will have her final herceptin treatment on Friday and she's looking so forward to the end of this chapter of her life. She began chemo last year just two days before Christmas, so it's been quite a year. She and Tim are hosting Christmas once again this year and I know that there will be extra rejoicing as we all gather together.

The six cousins are already counting the days until they see one another. And of course Grammy and Papa are counting the days too!!!

Impossibilities?

About a year and one-half ago I (Bob) was given a prognosis of 12-18 months of life left on this earth. Today I've finished my second round of chemotherapy and am "free" of it for the next little while, and I'm feeling quite good.

About two and one-half months ago Carol first broached the subject of her folks moving into a senior's living setting. Today the move is complete, her folks are happily settling in and their former place is cleaned out and ready to sell.

Two "impossibilities" when viewed from the front end, but today look very different. I like the thought attributed to Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher, who said, "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." And so we live forward, with all its mystery and uncertainties. And when we look back there is much that becomes clearer with reasons for thankfulness.

Some gratitudes I live with today include the fact that God enabled me/us to live through these two periods with thankfulness, not just at the end of the time period. It has sustained and strengthened me beyond what is natural. I'm grateful for being drawn into the lives of family and friends in a more significant way because they too are facing huge health and life challenges. I know that this life is not the end of things, and I pray they will be able to keep our momentary troubles in a heavenly perspective. I'm grateful for friends who have expressed concerns and prayers for Carol and me, and provided tangible help when we needed it. And I'm grateful to still be able to make a contribution in the lives of people and organizations.

I'm still doing a little consulting, including travel, as well as some coaching of people as they face organizational or life challenges. As long as God gives me life and strength I'm looking for ways to make myself available and present for those who need or want what I have to give. Who knows, I may just get some writing done, which has been on my mind for the past few months.

Thanks to all of you who read these blogs and follow our lives with such interest. You are a gift to us.

Bob (for Carol too).

Always giving thanks

Bob and I have had such a wonderful almost two weeks together, but in just a few hours I board a plane to take me to Oklahoma City to help Mom and Dad settle into their new home.

Having been apart so much this fall, we decided to go into seclusion on Thanksgiving Day--which was a week ago--Monday, Oct. 8 for you Americans!! We still cooked a turkey, went for a walk through the forest on a bluff overlooking the ocean--just eight blocks from our home (in the picture below), and came back home to the fabulous aroma of our turkey ready to be carved and eaten.

While I was cleaning up the dishes, Bob sat down at the piano and played some of our favourite thanksgiving hymns--"Great Is Thy Faithfulness", "Give Thanks", etc. When Bob was a little boy, his mother would excuse him from doing the dishes if he would play the piano for her while she did them--or so I've been told!!! No wonder he became such a wonderful pianist and improviser!! Let me hasten to say that he also is a very good helper around the house and did his usual perfect job of carving the turkey!!

My sister Barb has been down in Palm Springs with our parents since I left twelve days ago. On Thursday she will fly with them to Oklahoma City and since I'll be there a day ahead of time, I hope to have their little apartment all set up for them by the time they arrive. Jim's also spending quite a bit of time with them and in November he'll be driving their car to OKC with more of their things and plans to spend American Thanksgiving with them and all of the Bolerjacks.

And this very weekend, Jim is flying up to Vancouver and will spend four days with Bob. He's wanting to attend a seminar here related to fighting cancer through alternative methods, so both of them are going to attend it together.

There are still quite a few things to be done in Palm Springs, so next week I'll fly there from OKC and spend a week tying up some of those loose ends. Then on Oct. 31, I'll be flying up to Calgary to join Bob at the events around the installation of our good friend Gordon Smith as the new president of Ambrose University College, formerly CBC/CTS. And we'll be back home together on Nov. 3rd!!

I know that these next couple of weeks will be somewhat exhausting both physically and emotionally, but it will all be good. We've learned that we can depend on the Lord to provide the energy and strength to do what He's put in front of us. And maintaining an attitude of "thankfulness" is a key to unlocking heaven's resources.

Perpetual summer in the desert!!

I've been down here in Palm Springs with Mom and Dad for over a week, with one more to go before my sister Barb arrives to help them finish the preparations for their upcoming move to an independent living facility in Oklahoma City. It's a lovely complex called Teal Ridge Retirement Community, operated by the Church of Christ and located right beside the campus of Oklahoma Christian University, and just minutes from all of the Bolerjacks!!

Both Mom and Dad are showing their age more and more and Mom in particular is less steady on her feet and still struggling with constant headaches. She's experienced a small degree of relief from the acupuncture treatments for which we're grateful, and plans to have a few more treatments before leaving. Dad's eyesight continues to deteriorate due to both macular degeneration and glaucoma and he's coming to the end of his driving days--a difficult place to be!!

We've all decided that they should make the move to OKC before winter, even if their house isn't sold yet. So, they will be flying back with Barb to OKC in three weeks. I'll also fly down there at the same time from BC so that I can help them get settled. They'll have a lovely one-bedroom apartment, complete with a small kitchen, although all of their meals will be provided.

This is such a major move for them, having lived in California for over 57 years, and in the year-round warmth of the desert for 33 of those years!! But they're really looking forward to being near family for the first time since all of us kids left home. They have three little great-grandchildren who live just five minutes from their new home, and they will bring much joy to Mom and Dad.

Here are a few pictures taken this past week.

Jim came out for the day on Saturday and Dad barbecued the most tender, delicious steaks I've ever tasted. JIM got the results from his recent CT scan last week. The gastro-esophogeal and stomach area were clear!!--however there was a tiny spot on his left lung. Both the oncologist and surgeon said that it's so miniscule that they couldn't even take out a sample with a needle. They assured Jim that it wasn't anything to be concerned about, but they'll do another CT scan in three months to check for any change.

Since Jim's surgery, he hasn't been able to put on any weight and can't seem to get above 137 pounds. Hoping that he'd gain some weight has kept him from buying any new clothes that actually fit his reduced frame. So I went on a clothes shopping spree--without him!!--and brought back a whole new wardrobe for him. He was a good sport and tried everything on and approved of all I had chosen!! Here he's modelling some of his new "digs"!

Mom loves to play games, and 70% of the time she wins!! Here we are playing "Kings in the Corners".

Mom and Dad have had wonderful doctors and specialists who have cared for them so well over the years--particularly their amazing GP Dr. MawMaw, originally from Burma. She shed a few tears on Monday when she learned that they were moving and all three embraced one another in a "group hug". We're praying that they will soon be established with good doctors in the Oklahoma City area.

This is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and KIM will be participating in the "Run for the Cure" on Sunday. Last week she posted the following on Facebook: "Thanks everyone for your support. Here's to putting on the running shoes, leaving the last year in the DUST and running to my 'ONE YEAR' Milestone :)." We're so proud of her and Tim and the way they have not only survived but thrived in the midst of the biggest challenge of their lives. It's not been easy, but God and the loving support of friends and family have gotten them through.

As for BOB, he'll be having an ultrasound on Friday, hoping that it will give a clearer picture of the status of his tumour and also reveal whether there's a blockage in the stent in his uretor. He'll also be having chemo on Friday, then a week's rest before his last two chemos, ending an eight-round cycle. The Lord is renewing his strength and providing opportunities for his gifts and experience to be used in a variety of settings, giving him a new sense of purpose.

We're really missing one another and look so forward to being together again on October 5th!!!

Bob and his girls!!

Barbie's been out here with us for a week. The weather's been absolutely gorgeous and we've enjoyed every bit of it together.

Walks down to the beach, picking blackberries along the way!!

Visiting Lynn Valley Park and the suspension bridge in North Vancouver

Checking out the fantastic view of Vancouver and area from Cypress Mountain Lookout

Enjoying coffee together on the way to Stanley Park

At Prospect Point in Stanley Park

It seems there are trips to a doctor most weeks and here Bob is with another one of his "girls"--Dr. Le, his oncologist. He had an appointment with her on Thursday and she confirmed that his tumour markers are continuing to drop--thank the Lord!! He will actually be having two more rounds of chemo which will take him to the middle of October.

And here he is with his best girlfriend, thankfully!!

On Monday I'm heading back down to Palm Springs for two weeks to help Mom and Dad prepare for their move to Oklahoma. Mom's headaches are still plaguing her and she's decided to try accupuncture. She had her first treatment yesterday and will have two more next week, with much hope and prayer that they will bring her some relief.