A lifetime of memories and making new ones

This was the table of specially selected memorabalia from Bob's life which were displayed in the foyer of the church--things like family pictures; a treble clef; books we read as a family; Bob's cap and gown and framed pictures of CBC/CTS in Regina; books on leadership, board governance, mentoring, spiritual growth, and of course "Roberts Rules of Order"; a gavel given to him by the Accrediting Association of Bible Colleges; a wood carving of an elephant (which is a story in itself--the large ears symbolic of Bob's unique "listening skills"); his Bible; a pot of our precious "Rosebuds"; and then a book we gave our grandchildren a year ago entitled "Someday Heaven"--to help prepare them for Papa's passing; and finally the bold assurance of the reality of his presence now in HEAVEN.

Glenn Brooks, former CBC grad and friend, created the Pictorial Tribute which was shown at the service and can be seen on the "vimeo" recording. That was a wonderful "museum of memories"--especially for our family.

We made so many wonderful new memories as a family as we gathered together for many days following the Memorial Service. Some good friends made available to us a large home on a ranch just 20 minutes from White Rock. All of our children and grandchildren slept there and every evening for five nights anywhere from 14 to 45 of us gathered there for dinner and the evening. Ladies from our church provided fabulously delicious meals for us every single evening!! We felt so loved and blessed!!





Our daughter-in-law Ann's parents, Mun and Esther Park, even came from Toronto.



The Thiessen family--Bob's sister Lois and her husband Duane, son Matt and Rachel with their two little girls Gabby and Sophia, and daughters Alison and Anita



The Becker-Bouma family--Bob's sister Vi and her husband Jerry, Vi's son Bart, and Jerry's son Burke and his wife Tanea, and his daughter Carrah



Bob's Auntie Ruth Thomas and two of her children--Wendy, and Ian and his wife Glenys and three of their five children--Bronte, Rhys, and Eliza



Bob's cousin Lyle Gabrielson and his wife Elaine with Lois and Duane



My cousin Bill Parsons from Gibson's

What wonderful memories we made as we ate together, played games, and shared our lives and dreams with one another. We have an amazing legacy that we want to preserve for the next generations, so have decided to plan annual family gatherings from now on!!




These are just a sampling of the wonderful time we had together.



But . . . we so much missed our dad, papa, brother, uncle, cousin, friend, and my beloved Bob!! We couldn't help but wonder what he was experiencing in heaven at the same time--whether he could see us and feel a part of the gathering and feel our love. We all certainly carried him in our hearts.


Just two days before Bob passed away, we were talking about heaven with our nurse friends Jill and Chris, and also the home care nurse who came to visit for the first time. The Bible gives us glimpses of what heaven will be like and we were imagining what God has prepared for us. At one point Bob mentioned a quote from the concluding page of C.S. Lewis' book "The Last Battle", the final book in his Narnia series, that alludes to heaven. I went to take the book off the shelf and found the section Bob was referring to and read it aloud:

"And as He (Aslan) spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the thìngs that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever; in which every chapter is better than the one before."

Wow!! The wonder that awaits those who know Jesus. Bob's experiencing that right now--and it's even better than our family gathering last week!!

Bob's Memorial Service Program

Here is the link to view Bob's Memorial Service:

https://vimeo.com/carolarose

And here is the program to follow along:



Our children and other family members have been here for a few days and most are leaving tomorrow. When I have a chance to catch my breath I will elaborate on the ways God has blessed us beyond what we could imagine. We miss Bob so much, but knowing that he is rejoicing in heaven with the Lord has released us to rejoice in our time together here--with a new sense of anticipation when we will be altogether again.

Preparing for Bob's Service

This is the week that we’ll be welcoming family who are coming from all over the continent to honour their father, papa, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, and friend. We’re so grateful for the generous offer of two houses in particular where most will stay. One is large enough to accommodate all of us for family dinners. Our church is providing suppers for five nights, feeding anywhere from ten to 35 people each time. We are SO blessed.

Lois and I have had a very busy week with much preparation for Bob’s Memorial Service, taking care of legal and financial affairs, and planning for the congregating of family and friends—all things that Bob excelled so at doing far more than I. We personally delivered invitations to the memorial service to all of Bob’s doctors, dialysis units, hospital wards, the cancer clinic, home care nurses, as well as neighbours. It gave us the opportunity to thank them for their care of Bob over the past two years.

The Memorial Service won’t be “live streamed” but it will be recorded so that it can be viewed by those who are unable to come, within a few hours of the service. Here’s the link whereby it can be accessed: https://vimeo.com/carolarose

The Lord continues to pour His strength and peace into our hearts and I’ve found myself awakening during the middle of the night and in the morning with two hymns at the forefront of my mind.

The second verse to “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms”:
“What have I to dread, what have I to fear, Leaning on the everlasting arms, I have blessed peace with my Lord so near, Leaning on the everlasting arms.”

And the chorus of “In the Garden”:
“And He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own.” What comfort!!

Lois leaves in the morning to return to Oregon for a couple of days and then will drive back up with Duane and their daughter Alison on Wednesday. My sister Barb and her son Blake had planned to fly here tomorrow, but Blake had a serious accident on Saturday and sustained a major injury to his left arm requiring a three-hour emergency surgery and now a lengthy recovery. Blake was going to sing at the service, but now neither of them will be coming. My brother Jim still plans to come if he's feeling well enough.

All of our children and grandchildren arrive on Thursday and will be here for five days. Both Vi and Lois and all of their children will be here, with many participating in the service.

Our little condo is like a flower shop and as the bouquets begin to “decline” we put them outside where they last longer and we can constantly see them both day and night--and they make it seem like summertime on the patio.



Here are the addresses of the two organizations you may want to send a donation to in memory of Bob.

Institut Biblique V.I.E.
4824, Cote-des-Neiges, bureau 300
Montreal, QC H3V 1G4

Fairhaven Ministries
#1-8191 Rogers Road
Vernon, BC V1B 3M8

The Memorial Service will be held this Friday at Peace Portal Alliance Church in White Rock at 2:00 pm. The church is located on the corner of King George Blvd. and 152nd St.

Bob's Memorial Service--Friday, March 22, 2013

Last night was my first night alone without Bob or others around. My family is determined that I not be alone much, but truly it's good for me to have a few hours by myself. Bob's sister Lois arrived this morning to be with me for a week, then my sister Barb comes a few days before the Memorial Service, and at that time there will be a flood of family around. I am so blessed.

Many of you have sent expressions of your love and prayers and deep fondness for Bob via email, phone calls, Facebook,etc. I will cherish those expressions from you. I will miss Bob's love and companionship so much, but have 43 years of memories to cherish and the very real presence of the Lord right now, plus the joy of one day being together for eternity.

One of our children expressed so well the emotions around the new reality of our lives without Dad--

"We're doing pretty well, and feel a strangely wonderful sense of calm. We've shed some tears of course, but really feel God's love throughout the process. Hard to imagine a death being a blessing, but it almost feels that way."

I couldn't have said it better myself!!

Since Bob's diagnosis two years ago, we've had a wonderful gift of time to process and prepare for this day, but also a fresh ability to enjoy every single day together to the full until this day came. Our children and grandchildren have accompanied us on the journey and are now almost finding a sense of fulfillment--not finality--in it all.

Our eight year old granddaughter so excitedly has been telling me about the "funeral clothes" they've bought and how Mommy is going to curl her hair and put ribbons in it for Papa's service. Yet she's the one who has also cried the most.

The Memorial Service for Bob will be Friday, March 22, 2:00 pm at Peace Portal Alliance Church here in White Rock, BC with a reception to follow. Almost every one of our immediate family will be here, except my parents. As soon as possible I plan to go down to Oklahoma City to spend a couple of weeks with them.

Before Bob passed away, we talked about where he would like donations in his honour to be given. He chose two different organizations that each express his deep passions--ministry leadership training and also rest and renewal for leaders.

The bulk of Bob's career has been in the administration of theological and ministry eduaction, and way back in the 80's he helped CBC/CTS (now Ambrose University College & Seminary) establish such a training school in Quebec, originally called ETAQ. It has grown significantly and is now called Institut Biblique V.I.E. and is located in Montreal. Bob has long wanted to make a financial contribution to the school and now is the perfect opportunity.

And then, Bob has always cared deeply for the emotional health and renewal of church leaders. Fairhaven Ministries, a beautiful retreat centre for Christian leaders near Vernon, BC, has been a special place of interest and investment of his gifting as he has served on the board for years, and together we've enjoyed a number of personal retreats in one of the lovely cottages on the peaceful mountainside at Fairhaven.

So in lieu of flowers, donations to either of these worthy organizations would delight Bob and continue the legacy he left in both of these places. Details will follow as to how donations can be made.

Safely home!!

Bob made his entrance into heaven last night at 10:45, just about an hour after I updated our blog. It was very peaceful and we know he is with the Lord. Bob's two sisters, Barbie, and I were sitting in the living room enjoying a late evening cup of coffee and chat when Bob's breathing began to change and grow more shallow. He was gone in just a few minutes. But the consolation of it all is that he's free of pain and suffering and rejoicing in heaven with Jesus and his mom and dad.

So much has happened that is evidence of God's loving care surrounding this whole journey, and particularly the last few days. But time and energy don't permit the story telling yet.

Right now the four of us gals are sitting in the living room once again looking ahead to the next couple of weeks. Pastor Brian was here earlier this morning and brought strength, comfort, and godly wisdom and leadership in planning Bob's Memorial Service.

The service will take place in another two weeks--Friday, March 22nd--at Peace Portal Alliance Church. Details will follow.

You all have been companions on our journey and have made the trip so much easier with your love, support, and prayer. God has done "exceeding abundantly above all we could ask or think"--even in facing death.

Bob's still here

A little update to many who may be wondering how last night went. Bob is still with us, although many times in the night we thought and almost "willed" him into heaven!!

Bob made it through the night with his ministering angels--Auntie Lois, Barbie, and me on the periphery--but angels all around the world and in the heavenly realms holding him up in prayer and ministering God's presence and peace into our hearts. Vi faithfully exercises her gifts in the kitchen--very much needed and appreciated--especially her thorough cleaning-up skills!

Although Bob hasn't communicated much, we feel that he's aware and on occasion winks and appears to try to talk. He certainly isn't unconscious, nor does he seem to be sleeping much. He had one of us at his side most of the night and Barbie heard him say three times "Mama"!! Barbie moves into his space with such ease and tenderness. It's beautiful to see!! I know that I'll be well cared for when my time comes!!

The atmosphere is quite natural but very supernatural. We carry on as normal with special attention to the "treasure" still in our midst.

It's been a full day--and a very significant one, as today is my 65th birthday!! Lois, Vi, Barbie, and Jill managed to surprise me with a party tonight around Bob's bed. We ate Chinese food, which has never been one of Bob's favorite meals so he wouldn't be envious. Chris and Lyle came too as well as a few friends for very short visits.

Thursday is Bob's 70th birthday!! Our grandchildren phoned and sang "Happy Birthday" to both of us and so excitedly shared the good news in their household--that their mommy has been declared "cancer free" by her oncologist!!! Such rejoicing!!

Tonight we'll resume our places of attentiveness to Bob and hopefully a few hours of sleep. Thanks for your love and prayers.

David sent the following email this morning:

Hi Mom--
"Just a quick note....as I began to pray for y'all this morning, something neat happened. I began to pray, as usual, expecting to 'say' something. Yet, after I began "Dear God" (in my head), I felt a very strong feeling of warmth and love over your home - almost like a great and wonderful force who cared deeply and understood entirely - and had things well under control...almost as if to say, 'you needn't even ask, I've got things on this end'. A wonderful experience!"

Is it any wonder that we feel the Lord's presence and peace?? Thanks be to God!!

On the home stretch

Bob has the most attentive "TLC Team" around him these days. Here are the three nurses that surrounded him yesterday after they had administered their medical care. THEN they proceeded to make lunch for us!!!



Later in the afternoon Brian and Myrna, our pastor and his wife, came by for a visit and had communion and prayer with us.



Bob's sisters Vi and Lois arrived this morning for three days. Lois came from Alaska where she and Duane are speaking in missions conferences, and Vi came on her way home from a holiday in Hawaii. What a extra special treat to have them both.



This afternoon a hospital bed was delivered to our condo and it sits right in front of the BC lighthouse scene given to Bob by the District Office when he retired--entitled "Protected Passage"!!! The nurse also put ikn the sub-q lines and Lois is giving him his medication in that way.

Bob is declining every day and today isn't able to really look us in the eye and converse, although he does speak and smile a little bit. The goal is to keep him comfortable and we are all doing our best to do that.

He isn't eating anymore and hardly drinking at all. The expectation is that he will be in the Lord's presence pretty soon--in the next couple of days possibly.

Barbie is absolutely fantastic with her dad. She stayed with me beside him even longer than I did last night and was so attentive, teasing, and loving!! This evening I heard her singing "Jesus Loves Me" to him.

Chris went home to be with Lyle while Lois and Vi are here. Both Chris and Jill have been incredible gifts to us this past week and will come at a moment's notice.

Thanks for your continued prayers as we walk through the "valley of the shadow". Although we don't fear evil, we're sad at the prospect of loss and separation. But the good news is that soon we'll be together again in our heavenly home!!

Precious days

Yesterday was an enjoyable day. Jim Sawataky came by for a visit and brought a CD he had recorded of himself singing all four parts in quartet arrangements complete with his own backup!! Jim and Bob go way back to CBC days in the 60's up to the present, as Jim and Dawn also attend our church. Jim leads occasional Hymn Sings at the church and Bob plays the piano. Here are a couple of pics. The second one is of Bob and Barbie listening to the CD while Barbie rubs his feet.



Last evening Bob and I had some time alone together that was precious. Barbie and Chris went out for a couple of hours. We just enjoyed being quiet together and then talked about the future and what lies ahead of us. We went into our little library and Bob laid down on our hide-a-bed while I read him many emails that we've received over the past few weeks. What a rich time of rehearsing memories, receiving thanks from so many, and enjoying reminders of God's faithfulness.



We also talked about the future and what lies ahead of us, not knowing what would face us in the night and today. During the night he had a relapse of his fever and chills and by the time he got back to sleep, he slept continuously until after noon, missing his scheduled dialysis treatment.

He's so much weaker, less mobile and we feel as though we're heading into the "home stretch". Jill came this afternoon and spent over three hours with us. She talked to Bob in particular about her observations, what the next few days may look like, and so graciously and gently encouraged him to decide to terminate his dialysis treatments. He loves her so much and respects her and when she finished her little monologue, he thanked her as only Bob can with such words of appreciation and affirmation.

We've decided that Bob will stay at home rather than go to hospice or the hospital, as there is so much support that can come in--and four women who are committed to his care almost 24/7!! We have asked for a hospital bed and a variety of support help to aid us in our care for him. Bob is eligible for two visits each day from a nurse to assist with personal care, bathing, etc. Probably they will insert sub-q lines whereby he can get his medication very easily and directly into his body.

Barbie had intended to fly home to Regina tomorrow but has decided to stay longer. When Bob heard that she was strongly considering staying, he lit up with a wonderful smile!!! And although Jill is working, she wants us to phone her any time day or night and she will come when she can. She's going to come back tomorrow afternoon as well. What a gift from God!!!

This morning Chris, Barbie, and I sat in the living room with Bob as he slept, and read "Jesus Calling" together. What a timely promise on the very day we needed to be reminded of it. The scripture was John 11:25 where Jesus says, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." What a marvelous hope we have!!

All of us feel a certain amount of relief having made this decision and also the decision to terminate dialysis. Bob is so easy to care for--not the least bit demanding and so cooperative and kind. I look forward to sleeping with him in his hospital bed, as our recliner is WAY too small for two of us. He's been sleeping mostly in the recliner.

Chris and Barbie are a tremendous help. And Vi arrives on Monday morning for two days. Hopefully Bob and Vi will have some good visiting time together. When he's awake his mind and heart are very clear and he still makes us laugh.

Again, we appreciate your thoughts and prayers so much.