A temporary resurrection!!

Bob continues to improve and is apparently at dialysis in the hospital right now. He'll be having a CT scan tomorrow morning. It will be so good to have a clearer picture of what's going on in his liver and abdomen. We're prepared to hear that his cancer may be extensive, but there is a possibility that he's just had a significant blockage in his liver.

We are savouring the extra days God is giving us. Tim arrives this afternoon. Then the family circle will be slmost complete, minus our dear Kim, Ann, and grandkids.

As you can imagine, I continue to record these days in pictures and will add a few here. The first one was just an hour or so after Bob "checked back in" on Sunday morning after about 36 hours of unresponsiveness. The pictures that follow are mostly of family with him.



I see that I haven't gotten Barbie in any of these pictures. I'll work on that!!

Yesterday was a special gift from God

Bob has had an amazing turn around in his alertness and engagement--and it's continuing!! I stayed overnight with him last night and he was clear all night, probably only sleeping about four hours. We discussed all the Memorial Service plans and he is in absolute agreement with all that Pastor Brian, Lois, and I planned on Saturday. When those plans will need to be implemented could be anytime, but for now we're thankful for a bit more time!!

Barbie and I have come home just now for a few hours of sleep. We both stayed last night. She found a couch in the chapel down the hall, while I lined us three chairs to make a bed beside Bob.

About 30 friends came by yesterday. What a blessing!! Bob had been taken down to have dialysis, so all of his visitors (just two or three at a time) gathered around his bed down there. He had a lovely location in the renal unit--a wall behind him, no one across from him, and a huge floor to ceiling window on his side. Bob recognized every one and called them by name and interacted and joined in their prayers for him. He had no memory of the previous day!!

Yesterday was a gift from God and we're praying for more of those. David arrives today and Tim tomorrow.

Since Bob has rallied, he will likely have some more tests. The ultrasound revealed that Bob's liver is swollen and there's likely a blockage. A CT scan would give a better picture as to whether it is cancer (which is what we're expecting) or something that could dislodge spontaneously or through some procedure. This is a small liklihood, but our personal preference!!

Thanks again for your love and prayers. Now for a few hours of sleep!!

Time without limits

Yesterday when I wrote that in eternity, time will be no more, I got to thinking that some may think I was saying that there's no more time, when what I meant is that in heaven, time will be totally unlimited and no clocks will be needed!! I'm so thrilled about that, as I'm a person who is very prone to being late. Even as a child I would be running out the door to school asking my dad if he could please give me more minutes!! He promised he would to comfort me but I was still late!! My Heavenly Father is going to give me unlimited minutes!!

Yesterday was an amazing day, as about 20 friends came and told us how much Bob had impacted their lives. There was a steady stream coming in very manageable intervals. Bob's sister Lois and I felt as though we were even getting to know Bob better as we had the opportunity to see him through other's eyes and what he has meant to them. It really was a very sacred time.

Bob didn't respond at all until around 9:30 pm when he had a bit of a coughing spell. A couple of friends were there at the time. This awakened him somewhat and we kept poking and teasing him until he opened his eyes and even gave us some smiles and kisses!! I hope he heard some of the expressions of gratitude, deep affection, and memories of his influence in the lives of all who came to visit. Lois and I were very moved by it all and felt so proud and bessed to be his sister and wife.

Lois and I are heading back to the hospital shortly and Barbie will be arriving soon.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers and love.

Time is precious . . .

. . . and it is short. Bob took a huge turn on Wednesday night and was taken to the hospital on Thursday. The cancer has likely spread to his liver. An ultrasound will confirm that today. He's pretty sedated so isn't able to be engaged much, but still is SO loving, thoughtful, and even his ever-professional, gracious self when interacting with the nursing staff and the rest of us.

I love him more every hour. The Lord has given us an amazing two years together with almost unlimited time (in each 24 hour period) to spend together. Our relationship with one another and the Lord has deepened so much and it took this illness and suffering to bring this all about.

But now time is short. Bob's sister Lois arrived yesterday and our three children are arriving in the next two days. It's WONDERFUL to have them all here and so many friends, but I miss having him all to myself already.

But eternity awaits, when time will be no more!!

Thanks for your love and prayers,
Carol

Still lots of pain

Bob’s pain (mostly lower back pain) continues to increase, either that or his body has adjusted to the amount of pain medication he’s taking and isn’t as effective, requiring more. This makes him very sleepy and we’ve also found that it also makes him nauseous. We were blaming the chemo for the nausea, but he hasn’t had chemo for almost four weeks now, and it was only a half dose. When we reviewed the information about the hydromorphone pain medication, we found that nausea was the first side-effect listed!!

It will be so wonderful when his pain medication can be reduced. We’re hoping that the chemo and also the efforts we’re making to boost his immune system will shrink the tumour and cancer activity in his body so that there’s less pressure on the nerves in his lower back.

In spite of all of this we’ve enjoyed a week with friends who came out here to visit us from Toronto!! Flora and Paul Wesley (Flora taught at CBC way back in the 70’s) have been with us, but staying in the guest suite in our condo complex. We’ve enjoyed their time with us so much—talking, checking out the beautiful surroundings, sharing the challenges of health issues (Flora also has cancer and Paul has Parkinson’s), reading and praying together, and of course EATING!!

On Thursday Bob had a small surgical procedure done whereby a port-a-cath was inserted in his upper chest. He’ll be able to get his chemo through that port as well as other medications and procedures. This was performed at the hospital in Abbotsford where our dear friends Chris and Lyle Hopwood live. Amazingly, Bob felt well enough after the procedure to go out for lunch with Chris and Lyle.

We will see Bob’s oncologist on Tuesday and then he’ll have his second chemo in this cycle on Thursday. We’re doing all we can to boost Bob’s immune system through diet and herbal products. This allows me to be quite active in caring for Bob as I make protein drinks, veggie juices, various teas, and prepare as healthy a diet as possible. It’s quite a task being on top of the daily regime of taking medication at the right times and preparing and serving these other things. Since Bob’s pretty “foggy”, he needs his resident nurse to be on top of all of these things and there’s nothing I’d rather do!!

Our daily devotional times, listening to wonderful music, connecting with family and friends frequently, taking occasional walks, and reading together keep feeding our spirits and nurturing our relationship. We continue to be amazed by and so very grateful for the reality of God’s presence and peace.

Barbie’s flying out from Regina for ten days later this month and we are looking so forward to that!!

Nothing There!!

Since Carol does all the driving now, it wasn't unusual for her to be slipping in behind the wheel, with me on the passenger side, returning from a recent Dr's. appointment. In her effervescent way she exclaimed, "Isn't it great that there was nothing there!!" The only slightly disturbing part of this picture is that we were talking about a CT Scan of my brain/head. And yes it was good news that there was nothing there that could be suggest the spread of cancer to that area of my body--just another precautionary assessment ordered by our watchful doctor.

Sometimes the journey I'm on brings humour, sometimes faith, and it's amazing how close these first cousins are in the illness family.

Our grandson Billy sent me an email the other day. "Hey Papa, Hope you're going to feel really better and maybe last for like another, I don't know. Lot's of years would be better. Very very better." And on another occasion, "Do you still have the cancer in your body? Are you getting drugs? I hope you are gonna get better, our prayers still have you in our mouths." Nothing jaded or cynical here, just the ongoing language of faith and longing and "in the mouth" of my 8-year-old grandson! Does it get any better than this?

The past couple of weeks has had me adjusting to pain medication in the morphine family in an effort to get a benchmark for future increases/decreases in the medication. It has brought moments of laughter for Carol and me as I try to process the drug-induced "real" world and the real, real world. I've said some pretty stupid things, done some equally crazy things that would embarrass me to no end if I had known they were happening at the time. In reality they do make me feel embarrassed even now when I think of them, but I hope the nurses and staff got a laugh out of them. I did--ultimately, and of course Carol did--immediately. Bottom line of this is that I am pain free most of the time--which is a great blessing.

I began chemotherapy again last week and, depending on how my body responds, could be on for as long as 21 weeks (one treatment every three weeks). Thank God I do not respond to the chemo with severe side effects. We are also taking a proactive step in the world of non-traditional medicine. We believe God has led us to a trustworthy person who will help us profit from the natural substances and processes that will help my body do what the body is intended to do, healing itself once the right conditions have been restored.

May God give us all the right mixture of faith, humour, reactive and proactive responses to the journey he is leading us along.

Thankful for Family

We had a wonderful six days with our kids and grandkids in Regina—Dec. 25 to 31. The pictures tell the story best.

All of our amazing grandchildren!

Tim, Kim, Colby-9, Gracyn-7, Carson-6, and Mykenna-3

David, Ann, Billy-8 and Manny-5

Papa, Grammy, and Auntie with the kids

Bob’s pain was managed pretty well with his medication, but he was liable to drop off to sleep at any given moment!! Sleeping overnight at Barbie’s gave him the opportunity to get more rest. He had dialysis twice in Regina and we arrived home in time on the 31st for him to have dialysis on New Year’s Eve. The Renal Unit isn’t the most partying atmosphere, but it offered exactly what was needed!!

Then on Jan. 2nd, Bob’s sister Lois came to visit us for four days. She and her husband Duane just returned from Uruguay in mid-December for their furlough and have settled in Eugene, OR where Duane’s mother lives. Lois was able to take the Amtrak up from Eugene to Bellingham, WA—just 30 minutes south of the border from us. We had a great time together—mostly just lounging around, having good conversations, laughing, praying, and drinking lots of coffee—along with the post-Christmas goodies that still seem to be in abundance. We even roasted a turkey to share together.

Bob’s pain has been increasing, requiring him to take larger doses of pain medication—a type of morphine. While we’re so thankful that he has access to effective pain management, we’re concerned about the source of the pain and the need to begin treatment as soon as possible.

Today he saw his oncologist who is proposing a different chemo protocol to begin towards the end of next week. His kind of cancer—“metastatic urothelial carcinoma”-- is somewhat rare, so there haven’t been many studies on various treatment options. He has responded quite positively to the two six-month rounds of chemo that he’s had, but each time they are less effective.

While we are encouraged that the cancer hasn’t moved to other organs, it has spread in the kidney/ureter/bladder area and now lymph nodes are enlarged, possibly the source of his pain.

We had some good conversations with our children about their dad’s condition and how we all are processing it. The kids suggested that we plan right now for the next family gathering so that we are looking into the future with hope and expectancy. So we’re all planning to converge here this summer and spend a few days together in July at a wonderful retreat centre just south of the border called Cedar Springs. It’s the most beautiful setting nestled in the foothills of Mt. Baker and the food is absolutely fabulous!!


Here’s a bit of news on other family members:

KIM completed all of her treatments for breast cancer and is feeling like she’s pretty close to normal once again. Her condition will be monitored every few months with much hope and prayers that she will remain cancer-free for the rest of her life.

JIM’s recent CT scans have come back without any alarms, however he just can’t seem to gain weight and wishes he felt stronger. The doctors assure him that his recovery has been very good considering all he’s been through and that the weight issue may be the new norm.

My MOM and DAD have settled very well into their new home in the Oklahoma City area and are loving being near family. Mom’s been getting considerable relief from her unrelenting headaches through frequent chiropractic treatments. This is such a blessing.

So again, we are full of thanks for all that the Lord has done for us as a family this past year. We’re grateful for all of the good medical attention we’ve received in every form, but our ultimate dependence is on the Lord. So we look forward to this new year with a sense of growing expectancy in His provision of strength, healing, and the peace that passes human understanding.