Gone again!!

In just a few hours I'm flying to ON and western NY to spend a week with cousins and friends in ON and a week with David, Ann, and the boys in Fredonia, NY.

I am just too tired tonight to write more but you can be sure that I will have a lot to report when I return at the end of the month.

I'm missing Bob terribly, but am SO comforted by the assurance that he's with the Lord . . . and since the Lord is also with me, we can't be far apart!!

Home again!!

I just returned home this afternoon from my time with Vi and Lois in Victoria last week. We had a wonderful three days together, and then I drove Lois back home to Springfield, OR and stayed with her and Duane for a few days. It's very good to be home again. Pictures will be posted soon!!

But here are a few pictures I promised from my time in Regina with Tim, Kim and the children. Our four adorable grandchildren are posing behind the framed pictures of each of them with Papa!!



We also visited Kim's mom who lives just west of Moose Jaw. The kids affectionately call her "Tractor Grandma"!!



I'm having a bit of trouble attaching all the pictures that I'd like to, so must wait until I get some assistance. I'm realizing more every day how much I depended on Bob. Help with the computer is one of those areas.

But I most miss his companionship. It was so lonely driving home alone from Oregon--the first time I've done that. I stopped and ate all by myself in one of our favourite restaurants at noon today, which was a strange and fairly unsatisfying experience. AND I recognized the advantage of having a more competent navigator along, as I made a wrong turn and ended up going a few miles out of my way!!! I have so much to learn.

Time with Family

Last week I spent a wonderful six days in Regina with Tim, Kim, and their four little ones and Barbie. I was also able to connect with many old friends from our almost thirty years in Regina. I took lots of pictures--with my new iPhone!!!!! Now I just need to learn how to download them onto my computer and post some on the blog.

The grandchildren are pure delight. I framed a photo of each of the kids with Papa and they love having their very own pictorial memory of times with Papa Bob. It's such a comfort to be able to talk so freely with them all about Papa, cherishing memories and imagining what he's doing in heaven and how we will join him some day. What an amazing, certain hope we have!! I just began re-reading Randy Alcorn's book "Heaven" with more interest and anticipation than ever.

Bob's sisters Vi and Lois and I are spending a few days in Victoria right now. The three of us have planned special Sister Times together whenever Lois is back in the States. We were actually all together in early March when Bob passed away and their presence was such a gift. But we decided that we needed to spend a more relaxing and fun time together, so this is it. I'll be driving Lois back to Eugene, OR and spending a few days with them before returning home towards the end of the month.

Almost every day there are poignant reminders of my life without Bob that catch me by surprise. Like when filling in a "patient information" form at the chiropractor's and the jolt of coming to the category of declaring my marital status. And sitting across the aisle on the airplane from a couple who lovingly took one another's hand to hold as the plane was landing. And the automatic instinct of wanting to phone Bob and de-brief on the day's events as I've been travelling (as I so often did without him in the past few years).

I continue to receive cards, messages, and phone calls from family and friends who are supporting me in prayer and I'm so very grateful. And I love to keep hearing about what Bob has meant to so many of you over the years. I feel so very blessed to have been his wife and best friend over 43 years.

Well, Lois and Vi are ready to go for a walk so I must bring this to a close with the promise of including pictures with my next posting.

GREAT NEWS!!

Our kids Tim and Kim in Regina just phoned tonight with wonderful news. Kim was to have an appointment with her oncologist tomorrow to get the results of her most recent bone scan and CT scan, so she's been on "pins and needles"--especially since both Bob and Jim have passed away from their cancers recently. Although her prognosis has always been much better, she naturally has been wondering whether she's "next" in the lineup to heaven.

Well, the nurse phoned today to reschedule Kim's appointment to Monday and Kim asked if she could give her the results of the tests on the phone and was told once again that she's ALL CLEAR!!! Isn't that just the most awesome news?? Just had to share it with you all so you can rejoice with us too and give thanks to the Lord.

I've been home now for a week, experiencing for the first time the full reality of Bob's passing. I'm missing him so much and the joy of sharing our lives together--just the very ordinary things that made our lives so rich--like conversation, eating together, reading and praying, going for walks, marvelling at the goodness of the Lord to us, dreaming about the future, and of course sharing the same bed. It's so true that God made us to have relationships and I'm so grateful for good friends and family who check in with me and remind me daily of their commitment to be present in my life.

I'm flying to Regina on Tuesday for a week and it will be SO good to be with our precious kids and grandkids. When I return, Bob's two sisters Vi and Lois are joining me for a three-day "Special Sisters" time in Victoria!! And later in June I plan to visit our kids in western NY and some good friends and cousins in ON. So my times alone at home will be nicely spaced with time away with family. I feel so very blessed!!

Jim's Memorial Service

Jim's Memorial Service took place on Saturday afternoon, April 27 at Jim and Kim's church, Lake Avenue Congregational Church in Pasadena. It really was an uplifting service of tribute to Jim and honour to the Lord. Mom and Dad would have loved to have been able to come from OKC, but just weren't able to make the trip.

Here are my sister Barb and me with a picture of our wonderful brother. Jim was four years older than I and six years older than Barb. He passed away exactly two months before his 69th birthday.



And here we are with Jim's wife Kim and his beloved stepdaughters Nicole and her husband Thomas (on the left) and Amanda and her husband Kevin (on the right).

For many months now Jim had intended to drive Mom and Dad's car from California out to Oklahoma, as it was full of boxes of things they wanted to bring along when they made the move. He was hoping to be better by June so that he and I could possibly make the trip together, but that was not to be. So Barb and I left southern California early on Sunday morning and drove out to OK, arriving early this afternoon--in a day and a half!! We had many hours in the car to process all that has happened, share memories with grateful hearts, and to reaffirm our absolute confidence in God's will and ways even in the light of Jim's illness and death. Heaven is more attractive than ever before now that both Bob and Jim are there!!

Dad no longer drives due to vision problems, but their comfortable Cadillac will be an extra set of "wheels" for anyone in the family needing them--particularly when I come down to visit!!

I had intended to fly up to Regina this week to spend some time with our kids and grandkids there, but once again changed my plans and will be flying home to BC on Wednesday evening. I'm feeling more than ever the need to be at home and more fully come to terms with my life now without Bob. Being surrounded so much by family and friends has been great, but that and also being constantly on the move, has shielded me somewhat from sensing the reality of losing my most precious lifelong companion.

We all are SO grateful for your love, support, and prayers for us as a family and for the many expressions of sympathy and appreciation for both Bob and Jim.

Jim and Bob are now together in heaven!!

This morning at 7:00 am, my brother Jim entered the presence of Jesus and I'm sure that Bob was welcoming him with open arms!!

What a journey this has been. In the middle of the night, as Jim was having such labored breathing with distress in his throat, I just cried out to the Lord for mercy--for myself as much as Jim. I just didn't think I could endure one more night watching a loved one struggle for life!!

By 3:30 am Kim, Barb, and I gathered around Jim sensing that he was nearing the gates of heaven. An hour later Barb phoned the hospice home-care nurse who came over to the house and was tremendously helpful in every way. She had visited us earlier yesterday afternoon and there was such a wonderful bond between her and all of us. She also is a woman of strong Christian faith--in the Catholic tradition.

The scene was very similar to the one in our living room almost exactly seven weeks ago. Four of Jim's favorite women were gathered around him, telling him how much we loved him and were ready to release him to Jesus. At that point our nurse suggested we sing, so we sang "Amazing Grace" and "Jesus Loves Me this I Know".

Thank you SO VERY MUCH for your love and prayers. You have walked with us on our journey and we're so grateful. The Lord has blessed us with such a wonderful family and friendship network--and an awesome God!!

My brother Jim

Just as I was thinking that it may be time to "close the book" on Bob's and my blog, I am realizing that it's still a source of information and a continued means of requesting prayer for my brother Jim.

I arrived in California on Friday afternoon to be with Jim and Kim in what may be the final days/weeks of Jim's life. He is so very thin and weak, given his inability to ingest much nutrition and the build-up of fluid in his lungs and abdominal cavity. He coughs so much which disturbs his sleep (and ours) and makes him weaker.

My sister Barb arrived yesterday, and the two of us plan to be here for a week before driving Dad and Mom's car back to OK. All of this is dependent on Jim's situation of course.

Jim's two step-daughters, are also coming. Nicole lives just an hour north of here and spent a few days here this week before I arrived, and Amanda is flying here on Thursday for ten days from NYC. Nicole's coming back today and will check in frequently. She's the ultimate organizer and is producing spreadsheets regarding Jim's care and contact information!!

As it was in Bob's final weeks, many friends are coming by to say "good-bye" (without actually saying it) and express their love and appreciation for him. It's so touching to witness these special moments and to have devotions with Jim and Kim and hear Jim pray--and Kim too.

Some very good friends from youth group days way back in the 60's came by to visit yesterday. We were all teenagers then and could never imagine the day we'd all be growing old and "gray". We had some good laughs as well as more sober moments as we all through Jim are forced to face our own mortality. But, what a grand reunion we'll have in heaven and I doubt we'll have gray hair there!!



Thanks for your continued love, support, and prayers. This is all feeling strangely familiar having just experienced the walk through the valley of the shadow with Bob. At times I just want to go home and rest and more directly process Bob's death, but I know that this is where I'm supposed to be, so the Lord will give me (and all of us) strength.

Barb and I slept together last evening and had a wonderful conversation in the middle of the night. We were marvelling at how amazing it is that our family continues to receive God's strength, peace, and such a profound sense of His presence and good purposes being accomplished through all of this. It's still hard, but God's getting us through better than we could have ever imagined.

I'll continue to post an update every few days for those who want to follow our journey.